I am enjoying this blogging thing it has given me a real chance to look at what is happening around me and see it from different angles and this has helped me stay on track. I lost 800g this week brings my grand total for Round two to 2.8kg in 6 weeks that’s almost 500g a week average which is healthy I guess. I am ok with that because I am really in the mindset now of however long it takes I am in it.
This week I has a few moments of clarity about how I react to those around me and stress. I have come to realize that really my reaction and perception of reality are what will make it break me in the end.
I have always been a people pleaser I can’t stand the idea that someone would not like me or think Badly of me and until this year I very rarely said no to anyone!, but as I have gotten more to grips with my self worth I have started to step back and take stock of what is going to enrich my life and what is just making others happy. I have never taken the time to care for myself, I was always so concerned about what other people thought. This is changing.

I have a friend whose Behaviour I was taking very personally, i felt threatened and annoyed by her. She really is a lovely girl but she feels the need to make sure everything is done and done to a great standard, she is a perfectionist and takes care of everyone else, does everything for everyone and she would not think to put herself first.

Yesterday it dawned on me that the reason I felt threatened was because this was the old me, I tried so hard to please everyone else I forgot about me and I was not important, she has taken up the mantle and has become the go to girl!! Not me, cause I am no longer the door mat. Wasn’t comfortable at all, I was feeling very rejected but now I am happy because I have realized that I was not happy being that person.

As Dr Seuss says those he mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. So I will cull some people from my life or they will cull themselves as if I am no longer important being independent and strong minded then they are no longer important to me.

The other thing that has brought this home for me other the past few months is my beloved rabbitohs. I have supported them since birth born into a household of very avid footy fans but for the majority of my life they have been the cellar dwellers, this year we are very successful and in contention for our first premiership in 41 years, very exciting! But I have copped more flack for being a Souths supporter this year than I ever did when we were losers, so I have come to except that a lot of people have issues with success when it is not their own and no matter what you do you won’t alter their perception of their reality! So you have to alter your own. It reminds me of this quote by mother Theresa another for my inspiration board I think