I had an light bulb moment this afternoon whilst putting away my shopping. I am never going back. I love my life now I am only a quarter way through my journey and still have 30kg left to lose but what I have gained has been so massive and life changing I won’t ever go back. That is big for me as I have always gone back but I now see this for what it is a lifestyle change and a lifestyle choice. I LOVE being active. I love running and sweating and feeling alive. I feel strong and healthy even though I am still obese according to BMI but I will always be overweight according to BMI as well as I have high amount of muscle but I can live with that.

I had my first PT session in about 4 years on Thursday. My new trainer is going to be a tough one lol he is making me accountable. I have to send my food diary to him daily and that is really making me think about my food choices and why I am making them. At one point during that first meeting he tried to justify the cost of the session and rattled of a number of food items athat people who are overweight usally indulge in soft drink, chips, biscuts, chocolate, alchol, coffee, take away. I could quite honestly say that I didn’t spend much money on any of that stuff at least for the past 11months they are not something that I have over indulged in, that made me happy but having a look at my food diary for the past few days perhaps I am over indulging a bit on carbs and wine whe socialising on the weekend. 

This has been a slow progression for me but I am getting there and I think it may just speed up now that I have had that revelation. I said to my husband the other day that it is depressing to have to work so hard to get weight off and to think that I will have to eat like this for the rest of my life and today I thought what the hell am I thinking I do love chocolate and cake : ) but I can have that every now and then as long as I don’t binge on it and its within my calorie intake for the day. I love eating all the fresh Produce in my trolley, exercising and the feeling of being strong and fit, I won’t give that up. I would never want to go back to the old fat lazy tired me.