Oh dear, well it happened I gained and I was sooo disappointed!!i had tried so hard. I got so mad at myself I binged and even as I was devouring my second chocolate bar I was asking myself why I felt the need to do that. I dragged myself through my morning work out and then had healthy breakfast but I felt so down on myself I gave in to the temptation that is the chocolate box at work 4 chocolates in all : ( , made me sick. It was such a strong urge and I mentally just could mot kick it. I Still feel yuck this morning. I ummed and shed about writing this but then I thought this is about me being accountable and to try and help me make sense of my Behaviour.

I got this sense of anxiety about failing again this round even though its not really failing as I just keep going and the results come slowly, I need to keep reminding myself of why I am doing this but in my mind when i gain after a relatively good week there are doubts about how the one size fits all calorie count is effecting my metabolism and whether I should do more research into what is an alternative. I really want a Dexa scan, so I am going to look into that maybe it will help me to understand what is physically going on with my body and I will keep working in the head stuff. Having said that I don’t want to slip into the all or nothing thinking and I also need to remind myself that this is a lifestyle change and not focus so much on the scales, ( hard as that is ) I want the weight gone and see a gain as a failure but really I am making good changes and the weight loss is a side effect of that.
Back on the horse I am going to train hard and eat clean.